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Friday, 9 January 2004
continued
so, the call, i was scared. But then the man asked "Marisa? is it you? i haven't talked to you in a long time.. you don't know who i am do you?..." i was scared, because 1 he knew my name, 2 he said he knew me, and 3 i had no idea who this guy was. "Who is this?" I asked quietly "It's Daddy."he said, my face got so lit up, and my mom was watching my eyes glow. she looked at me strange and asked who it was, i was so excited i didn't answer. "I miss you so much daddy" my mom said "daddy?" My mom took the phone and said who is this? "It's Paul, Beck.," Then it was just the happiest time of my life! When i was little, i asked for a dad, or a sister, becuase i was lonely. Now, unfortunately, i have a sister, born when i was seven, and a dad. those were the times i thought my life was going to be good forever. boy was i wrong... after a while, i started visiting him in LA. he was really buissy, so i had to stay at his house the hole time by my self..it was really boring, so i didn't want to go out any more. now i was abnout 12, and i started stang up for myself,i did not want to go to his house when i didn't spend time w/ him. then he got mad a me and stopped talking to me. we haven't talked for aboout a yeaar now and i dont really want to talk about it..
Posted by punksville
at 8:13 PM PST
Friday, 26 December 2003
sigh....
you kow what, sometimes the world can be a lonely place...just like my life.. i wish people could just understand me, y i am the way i am... i mean, well, i had a screwed up life, and i still have a long way to go. i guess i could just sit and write about it.. well when i was born, my mom and dad and i, moved from orange county, ca to arizona. and my dad was a screwball, so he left back to calli when i was only like 10 or 11 months old. and we saw each other until i was like 4. then he stopped talkin to me. got rid of his phone, moved alot, and just flat out stopped talkin to me for 6 and a half years. So finally, when i was ten, i wanted to find my dad. So, i called my stepmom (his ex-wife) my grandma(his mom) and my aunt(his sister) and coinsadently, they hand't heard from him either. i was really depressed for those 6 and a half years, and still was when i was ten! i mean, how cana ten year old be so depressed!! when i started to loose hope, the phone rang.... i picked it up, and it was my stepmom, she said she had found his new number. she gave it to me and i called..left a message.. and hung up. about a month went by, it was probably mid-july. and yet another phone call was addressed to me.. an ufamiliar voice asked for me, and i became frightened, that it was true, he was dead... i don't have time to finish, to find out the rest read the next post..
Posted by punksville
at 3:36 PM PST
Sunday, 21 December 2003
My first day!!
this is so cool that can make my own site, this blog, you i guess, are going to be my new diary, so i guess people can see it, since i dont know n e 1 i guess it wont matter.....
Posted by punksville
at 9:56 PM PST
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